Physician researchers at Hospital Woeisme are known as the best in the country. Their skills are so advanced that they have achieved the impossible – they have cured death! The team had been working on a secret elixir, dubbed Anti-Deather (trademark pending), for years. They had tested various iterations of the proprietary concoction on scores of recently deceased patients, though they had not had any success until today.
Read MoreThe first annual Take Your Parents to Work Day occurred at Hospital Woeisme last week. The idea stemmed from the resident wellness committee; they reasoned that the experience would show families what the day-to-day life of a resident truly entails. Trainees from each specialty were given permission to have their parents shadow all patient-care activities, including procedures, rounds, and conferences.
Read MoreBreaking news from Hospital Woeisme! The newest medical marvel on the market, diexerciseatrightumab, is now available. It goes by the trade name Allinone (pronounced all-in-one), but most refer to it simply as: The Magic Pill.
Read MoreAn unusual noise emanating from the surgeon's lounge at Hospital Woeisme resulted in one of the greatest medical mysteries in recent history. The sound, described as near constant, loud, and varying in pitch and tone, disturbed and confused any who heard it. When investigated, the cause of the noise turned out to be uncontrollable laughter.
Read MoreThis past Saturday a 150-year-old time capsule was unearthed on the grounds of Hospital Woeisme. Initially buried in the year 1870 at a ceremony commemorating the opening of Hospital Woeisme, the time capsule was inscribed with the instructions, “Do not open until January 20, 2020. Or else.”
Read MoreThe long-standing tradition of a springtime interdepartmental resident and fellow baseball game at Hospital Woeisme is getting replaced this year with a roller derby match. Changing the activity is hoping to level the playing field and get more trainees to participate. Typically, the same few folks end up pitching and batting, while the rest aimlessly wander the outfield or drink beer in the bleachers.
Read MoreThe University College of Woeisme officially changed its name to University of Woeisme College of Medicine at a ribbon cutting ceremony earlier today. The name change occurred just prior to the school’s annual pep rally. Rumors abound that the actual impetus for the name change was the result of an unfortunate incident with a prominent donor.
Read MorePhysicians are scientists. They tend to favor evidence-based medicine, robust research studies, and cold, hard logic. Ghosts and superstitions do not typically fall under those categories. But in room 513, a series of odd events has caused a group of medicine interns to question their disbelief in the supernatural.
Read MoreDr. Sachar beamed as the Dean of Something Educational presented her with her medical school diploma from University of Woeisme College of Medicine. As a truly non-traditional medical school graduate, Dr. Sachar’s path to becoming a doctor began in an unexpected way – as a frequent flyer.
Read MoreConsulting physicians at Hospital Woeisme have started using remote-control drones to see their overnight consults. Instead of going into the hospital to see patients, the attendings can pilot a drone into their patient’s room, potentially avoiding a trip to the hospital.
Read MoreAfter several months of intense investigation, the underground high-stakes resident-run Bingo game at Hospital Woeisme has finally been uncovered and disbanded. Originating with the ED residents, the game was initially just for fun. The game turned serious, and illegal, when players began paying to join in. The reported payout could be thousands of dollars, depending on how many residents played and won each week.
Read MoreIn an unprecedented move, medical students at University of Woeisme have joined forces and staged the largest revolt ever executed on school grounds. Citing discontent with undocumented 100-hour workweeks, condescending patients, disparaging residents, being ignored by attendings, and lack of recess, the medical students decided that they couldn't handle the harsh treatment anymore.
Read MoreExciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app ‘Riding on shared cabs,’ known as ROSC for short, is going live!
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